MOVIE REVIEW - Fantastic Four (2005)

Stupid movie, but plenty of fun. No character development (even though there was an attempt at one), fairly lame plot, bad casting choices in Alba and Mr. Fantastic. But if you ignore all of that (which I was able to do), it's quite fun. Lighthearted superhero fun.

MOVIE REVIEW - Beyond The Sea (2004)

How can a movie go wrong with headliner songs like Splish Splash, Beyond The Sea, and the amazing Mack The Knife? Well, they did (go wrong, that is). The songs are near perfect. But Kevin Spacey is no Bobby Darin - not by a long shot. His voice is technically decent, but with an uninspired blandness. His dancing, well, not even close. He's a terrific actor, but this was just not his film (even though it WAS his film, as writer and director and producer and lead actor). The story was contrived - interweaving conversations between himself and his kid self. Darin was apparently an arrogant jerk, but that's not what ruined the film. It was the fantasy sequences dancing in the street, the fake relationships, the "timely" anti-war beatings over the head, the obvious effort that was forced into every scene. Except for the mediocre Kate Bosworth (as the recently deceased Sandra Dee), the acting was in able hands, with John Goodman, Bob Hoskins, Brenda Blethyn, and unrecognizable Greta Scacchi, and the heartbroken Caroline Aaron. But overall, the movie was just badly done. And so sad, because the songs deserved much better.

MOVIE REVIEW - Space Cowboys (2000)

What a ridiculous concept, how horrible the science is, how predictable every plot point was. But knowing this, throwing out all hope of logic and believability, the movie was fun. The old guys seemed to enjoy their adventure, which makes it fun for us, too. Although, what was up with "Mumford"'s teeth? Did they give him new ones to cover up his huge gums?

MOVIE REVIEW - Butterfly Effect, The (2004)

Well, it sure started out promising, but wow, this movie tanked after the first hour. I was surprised during the first half that I didn't hate it, since Ashton was in most every scene. But it really was suspenseful and had interesting themes of darkness and redemption. But as soon as he started "jumping", it lost any believability.

MOVIE REVIEW - Pink Panther, The (1963)

Bizarre, funny, a little dated. I kind of like that Peter Sellers is so very loopy that he was shyly pleased to be considered a bad guy.

MOVIE REVIEW - Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (2005)

I think I liked it, but it sure was quirky and even sinister. Willy Wonka is in my All Time Top 30, and I was hesitant to think Tim Burton could do this justice. The original (film) was a tiny bit sinister, but much more playful in its sinisterness. Johnny was sinister while disturbed, and a tad playful. Big change. A few of his awkward glances I found hysterical, while others I found downright disturbing. I didn't like the cloned Oompah Loompahs. I didn't like the 4 kids (though we weren't supposed to). I DID like Granpa. And Charlie, well, that kid is cute and heartwarming in all the ways that aren't revolting. And he's a terrific actor.

MOVIE REVIEW - National Treasure (2004)

This is one of the more difficult ratings I've given. If not for one thing, I'd give the movie a 3.75 rating. The action was great, the story was great (though a little annoying about the Free Mason crap), the girl was hot and not irritating, the sidekick was great and funny, and it had a Raiders-Of-The-Lost-Ark feel like no movie since that classic. But. But. But. Why would anyone think Nicolas Cage would be a good choice for ANY movie, much less one that has as much potential as this one? He is just a truly horrendous actor (and seemingly, man). Ugly, untalented, duh-goofball persona, he ruins any movie he touches. Except for this one, which he just brought down a few notches. Thankfully, the movie had enough life to still be enjoyable in spite of him.

MOVIE REVIEW - Dark Water (2005)

Jennifer Connelly stars in this dreary horror flick, in the vein of The Ring (J-Horror, I think they're called). I want to like Jennifer. She's hot, and she won a deserved Oscar for one of my Top 10 All-Time movies. But she chooses pretty bad movies (Hulk, Requiem, This One) and doesn't quite have the talent to lift them out of the doldrums. This movie never made its way to scary, though it tried. It never made its way to interesting, and it didn't even try.

MOVIE REVIEW - Spring Forward (1999)

This nice indie flick centers on the friendship between Ned Beatty and Liev Schreiber, two park workers. It's a cross between The Station Agent and Shawshank Redemption, though not as compelling as either - but still good. Slow paced, touching without being at all sappy, deep but not quite deep enough.

MOVIE REVIEW - Ghosts of Mississippi (1996)

Nicely done. A little too obvious, a bit heavy handed on the sermon, but a compelling story well told.