MOVIE REVIEW - Valkyrie (2008)

This is seemingly a major departure for Tom Cruise. Set near the end of WWII in Germany, Cruise plays the leader of the final assassination attempt on Hitler’s life. The topics are weighty, the intensity is palpable, and (as history makes obvious) the ending is not happy. Amazing, then, that they were not able to escape the sense that it is just another Tom Cruise movie. Tom speaks with exactly his accent (though few other actors do); he carries himself with a very 21st century American air; near the climax, everyone pledges allegiance to his character; he is essentially the personality of Mitch McDeere – he even hesitates before saying “Sir”, just like at the end of The Firm. Even covered in dust, he’s too pretty. But equally amazingly, the film isn’t ruined by Tom’s inability to hide Tom. It is a good movie.

Throughout much of the film, there is high tension. I could hardly breathe we weren’t sure if Kenneth Branaugh would be discovered as a traitor. The first and second meetings between Tom and Hitler were literally stressful for the viewer – fantastic. Throughout the assassination attempt, there was lots of silence leading to the scary stuff – very Hitchcockian. The scenes in the typewriter room were an effective way of building the plot and the fear.

I like Eddie Izzard, but he seemed miscast. Carice van Houten was great in the small role of Tom’s wife. Thomas Kretschmann was excellent as the National Guard reservist leader – obedient, skeptical, firm.

As a movie, Valkyrie is one of the best of the year. As history, it seems to do a decent if not perfect job. The film definitely colors the assassination attempt as a moral crusade against Hitler’s crimes against people, for the goal of preserving Germany’s honor. “We have to show the world that not all of Germany is like Hitler.” The leaders in the film would have ended the war once Hitler was gone. The historical men were seemingly a bit more practical and self-serving, though there is evidence that they were more principled than Hitler. At least the movie is not as revisionist as the Nuremberg War Crimes museum.

MOVIE REVIEW - Marley & Me (2008)

Yes, it’s about the dog, but not in the same way that Beethoven or Benji is. More like Turner and Hooch, where the dog plays a big role, but it’s also about something else, about life. About John Grogan’s life – he’s a reporter played by Owen Wilson (wow, that nose becomes more and more noticeable), married to Jennifer Aniston. And because of Grogan’s commitment issues, they get a dog. Marley, the pup, in his cute moments, is so cute that it almost makes even ME want a dog. And then he barks. And poops. And runs wild, controlling the household. I didn’t appreciate how proud they were for getting kicked out of obedience school – as though owning an out of control dog is a badge of honor.

The film’s pace moves very fast through John’s life – they have to cover about 16 years, after all (hint, hint). And because of the pace, it sometimes seems disjointed. Jennifer’s bonding to the dog didn’t seem genuine at first. But then, to rush through the years, the did a montage. Now, montages are fairly common in movies. But they did a fascinating, lightning speed, 5 minute fly-through of all the stories John reported over the course of a few years, mixing in personal life changes, days with Marley, back to the reporting – it was surprisingly cool. They also placed cultural milestones throughout to let you know time was progressing quickly (e.g., Hootie and the Blowfish to let us know we are in the 90’s).

When Jennifer cries at her miscarriage, you realize the movie is going to be about more than the dog – it is truly emotional. There are many funny moments, but even the comedy has a heartwarming tone (when the third kid comes along, “Daddy says her name is Woops”).

The movie isn’t without flaws. Owen can’t help but be Owen, even when it isn’t a comedy. He does a lot of mugging. Emotionally removed mugging. Grogan doesn’t strike me as a dad. He’s a dog owner, even when he’s spending time with his kids. He doesn’t talk to the kids. He sometimes talks at them, but that’s as close to parenting as he gets. And the movie doesn’t really even recognize this trait as lacking. The marriage is portrayed as difficult but mature – though it isn’t a marriage I would esteem.

Alan Arkin is terrific as usual as Grogan’s boss. I loved the house they bought in Pennsylvania – three story stone, alongside a two and one story sided attachment, with a spacious front yard.

Any emotion I felt was because of Jennifer’s tears. The dog part, uh, he was old. Only the vet has the emotionally removed sense that pet owners should have. When Owen says to Marley, “I love you more than anything,” I think it is true; but given that he has a wife and kids, I also think it is unfortunate.

Despite a few flaws, I liked this movie. A dog lover would love it.

MOVIE REVIEW - Untraceable (2008)

Standard serial killer drama starring the reliable and gorgeous Diane Lane as an FBI cyber expert. Nothing remarkable, but I enjoyed it.

MOVIE REVIEW - Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

I think I’m just about done with Judd Apatow films. Knocked up was decent, 40-Year Virgin was decent, and the other 8 or so recent ones (since he’s become a hit), including this one, are just too distasteful. Supposedly, Apatow has his finger on the pulse of the younger generation. If true (and I fear it is), then I’m glad I’m old.

Oh, how I love Kristen Bell. But I’m learning that I really just loved Veronica Mars; and Kristen, well, I can take her or leave her. She stars with Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother) as a TV star with a typical TV star’s ego. She dumps Jason for another celebrity (the always unappealing, ridiculous Russell Brand), leaving Jason to mope for his loss.

The plot is lame, as they wind up in Hawaii together on separate vacations, leaving Jason to wallow in pity over Kristen and Russell’s affair. And Apatow lets us see everything – the sex, the moans, the sex, the constant profanities, the sex, the drunken pity parties, and the sex. If only it were funny.

MOVIE REVIEW - Lawn Dogs (1997)

Sam Rockwell stars as the lawn guy from the wrong side of the tracks who befriends an emotionally lost girl (introducing Mischa Barton) from the right side. A bit whimsical, a bit terrifying, you don’t know for a while whether the story is going to lead down bad paths. There are some difficult moments between Sam and the other guys from the wealthy side, but the overall, it’s a nice tale.

MOVIE REVIEW - Eagle Eye (2008)

Farfetched, but only as much as most action thrillers. Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monaghan separately get phones calls from a female stranger giving them instructions (e.g., get out of your apartment NOW; we have your kid, get in the car on the corner and drive). It seems like a big conspiracy, though the two can’t figure out where the woman is leading them to, and what horrors she wants them to do, and why she has put the two of them together. There are many twists, and I mostly liked the way it all fit together in the end. A fun ride.

MOVIE REVIEW - Monster's Ball (2001)

Halle won an Oscar for this, but it sure isn’t fun. Or very good, really.

MOVIE REVIEW - Day the Earth Stood Still, The (2008)

While this sci-fi remake has several redeeming elements and is quite entertaining for much of the film (excellent opening; the lovely Jennifer Connelly; some terrific effects, like as the alien ship first approaches Manhattan), it has multiple tragic flaws that nearly ruin it (and there are spoilers here):
1. The left-wing agenda saying that man has destroyed the planet. "You came to save the earth from us". Are you kidding me? So this is a man-caused-global-warming propaganda movie. You say we are on the brink of destruction, and you are right. Such alarmists, these Hollywood fanatics.
2. Jennifer Connelly’s pathetic pleas – We can change, we can change!
3. The alien was ultimately convinced to save the planet, all because he saw Jennifer and Jaden sad over the death of Jaden’s dad. Wow, humans really are evolved after all, though the alien Keanu. Uh, the aliens had been spying us for decades. Hadn’t they ever seen anyone cry before? And tears are what convinced them to spare us? Really, really stupid.
4. I know that all action movies have these types of flaws, but this was more glaring than most. The alien’s fog was going hither and yonder destroying everything in its wake – skyscrapers, stadiums, cars, people – and the three stars hide under an overpass (made of concrete, right? The same material that stadiums are made of) and are protected? Wow, that was a terrible gap in logic.
Additionally, the movie would be better without the entire Jaden Smith storyline – he isn’t a good enough actor to pull off the depth they were shooting for.

MOVIE REVIEW - Role Models (2008)

Surprisingly endearing and funny, if profane and a bit stupid. This is much like School of Rock, but with medieval sparring games instead of music. The love story between McLovin’ (Christopher Mintz-Platz) and the queen was really cute. Seann William Scott’s teachings about boobies was really funny – yes, sophomoric, but funny. And true. I didn’t care for the constant extremely profane banter between SWS and his kid, and how they used the profanity as a bonding factor – but it was still touching. The scene where the black mom was protecting her kid was nice, but it didn’t ring true based on how she had raised her son. Hopefully, this movie won’t be seen as a lesson on how to raise kids, but rather as a funny and endearing (and really profane) romp.

MOVIE REVIEW - Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

This movie is chaotic and unbelievable, most of all, and miserable. I hear that the movie perfectly depicts life in the Mumbai slums; but it is unpleasant to watch, nonetheless. It is the story of two brothers and a childhood girlfriend, born in the slums, stolen into slavery, horribly mistreated, with incredibly hard knocks and bad decisions along the way. And the movie beats you over the head with how miserable it all is. But to make the movie more palatable, they create a very bizarre and uneven storytelling devise. The movie is told through flashbacks while one of the brothers is on the Millionaire game show, explaining how he knows the answers to the questions. Though the plot gives some thin (pathetic) reason for why he would be on the game show, Millionaire seems a trite way to tell a poignant story.

Other things I disliked about the movie:

• How many running chase scenes through the slums will there be? At least 5. For this much activity, why is it so boring?o Kids become beggars and thieves. I guess we are supposed to feel sorry for them, but the kids are too happy about their stealing, and movie is too disjointed, for that
• Loud, driving electro-pop music.
• Too long. I was begging for the movie to be over.

MOVIE REVIEW - Milk (2008)

Personally, I don’t appreciate gay culture. I find effeminate men off-putting, the constant explicit sexuality morally bankrupt, and the in-your-face exuberance offensive. Thus, I went into this movie, about the life and assassination of the first gay city councilman of San Francisco (a man entrenched in gay culture) with a big strike against it. And they definitely pulled out all the gay culture stops: drag queens, Over the Rainbow, tons of man-on-man kissing. Harvey Milk is presented here as such a valiant hero and martyr, a man of dedication, resilience, courage – the movie is nearly worshipful towards him because of the long strides he made toward gay civil rights. These are some of the politics and chants and attitudes of Mr. Milk, as presented here:

• He “broke the dam of prejudice”.
• “Everything I did was for gay rights.”
• He partnered with the teamsters union.
• Chant: “Gun control, not marijuana control”
• Chant: “Civil rights or civil war – gay rights now!”
• Stern calls to his people to come out of the closet – “for the children”
• Equating Anita Bryant to Nazis
• Anita Bryant is slammed throughout the movie as a crazy hatemonger.
• He begins every speech with “I recruit you.”
• He giddily addresses his people “My fellow degenerates…”

This movie is decently made, decently acted (James Franco is better than Sean Penn) – nothing special, but not horrible. But when I disagree with most every political goal of Harvey Milk, and when the movie so strongly celebrates not only his courage, but specifically his courage to do “the right thing” – when I see his politics as the wrong thing – it makes it impossible for me to appreciate the movie.

MOVIE REVIEW - Dan in Real Life (2007)

Delightful family tale about two brothers who love the same woman. The sad sack Dan (Steve Carell) hasn’t dated since his wife died; but he meets Juliette Binoche in a book store, and there are subtle and sweet sparks. He gives her his phone number, then heads to his family’s vacation cabin to meet his brother’s girlfriend – yet, Juliette. Dan is clearly better suited for her than the brother (Dane Cook), but the movie would be awfully short if there weren’t a bunch of missteps and shenanigans. Predictable but nice.

MOVIE REVIEW - Hellboy (2004)

An endearing, though bizarre, tale of a baby who escaped from hell and grew up to be Hellboy. A pseudo-superhero, but with dark elements. He’s angry, though a bit of a teddy bear; he smokes cigars and prefers his own company, but he’s in love with the sweet, pensive Selma Blair. Decent story, nicely executed.

MOVIE REVIEW - Australia (2008)

What a wasted opportunity. There was a good story to be had here, but it was drenched in out of place whimsy, overacting, conceited directing, and a total lack of edit. Hugh was good as the Drover – a rough cow herder who agrees to help the overly-stuffy (and WAY over-acted) Nicole after her husband is killed. The big cow herd scene was gorgeous and cool, including the paranormal elements with the sometimes-cute, sometimes-annoying kid. Some of the music was nice. But what were those unrealistic scenes (e.g., an aborigine girl running alongside the truck, conversing with Drover)? Luhrmann couldn’t decide if he wanted an epic or a fantasy. He later decided he wanted an epic, so he kept drawing out the storyline – endlessly – through the herd, to the market, to the dance, to the… war? Will it never end? I was going mad by the time Luhrmann finally made everyone happy.

MOVIE REVIEW - Starstruck (1998)

Starring Loren Dean (Mumford) as the drugged up, narcissist movie star, and Jamie Kennedy as his wannabe friend/fan, there is just nothing here worth seeing. Rent Mumford instead.

MOVIE REVIEW - Four Christmases (2008)

Not funny. Not Vince, not Reese. Not Duvall (who I love) as the hick dad with a heart, not Steenbergen as the stupidly cougar mom. Not Sissy, as the “enlightened” mom (who married Vince’s best friend – ugh). Not Voight – he’s never been funny. And not even Favreau, as the overly-bulked wrestle-mania brother. It’s just a mess of a Christmas film.

MOVIE REVIEW - Quantum of Solace (2008)

Good Bond movie, and Craig does a fine job. It isn't compelling or overly memorable, but still a good movie.

MOVIE REVIEW - Burn After Reading (2008)

Kudos to the Coen Brothers for following up the very dark Oscar winner No Country For Old Men (stellar, in the mood of Miller's Crossing but better) with the very darkly funny Burn (in the vein of Fargo, and nearly as good). What a whacky set of characters they have developed. At times, the all-star cast got in the way of the characters: it was almost too easy to see Brad Pitt hamming it up instead of seeing Chad the brainless and hyper personal trainer; Clooney didn't ruin the film, but his shallow CIA guy would've been in better hands with a lesser-known actor. But Frances McDormand hit it out of the park - a gym manager who desperately wants plastic surgery, and goes to great lengths - oh my word, such huge lengths - to find the money to pay for it. The writers sure didn't give any of the characters common sense. But it's a hysterical joy-ride watching all of their bad decisions intersect - no, collide - with surprising twists and violence and laughs. I think my favorite scenes were back in the CIA office with J. K. Simmons, serving as the voice of reason, expressing the audiences thoughts - "Report back to me when it makes sense" (and multiple hilarious profane comments) - it certainly does not make sense. But it sure is fun.

MOVIE REVIEW - Kabluey (2007)

A quirky indie comedy that is surprisingly funny and touching. So often, indie comedies are just weird and in no way funny. But this story of a loser finding a piece of dignity is surprisingly endearing. Lisa Kudrow co-stars as a war mom whose kids and life are out of control. She lets her deadbeat brother-in-law, who she clearly cannot endure, come live with them to care for the kids. He's clueless, and the two hellion boys gang up to kill him (literally? Maybe?). But he gets a second job as a corporate mascot - a baby blue Gumby with a huge oval faceless head, who stands on the side of the road in the middle of fields (what? But it works). And as the blue mascot, he connects with the boys, gains their (and his own) respect, and even teaches Kudrow a little about life. This has all the makings of an indie failure, but doesn't.

MOVIE REVIEW - Changeling (2008)

Changeling is a terrific film, one of the best of the year. Angelina stars in this true story from the 20's/30's as a mother whose son goes missing, and her dedicated search for him amid police corruption. Angelina is a great actress; and she does fine here, but she didn't quite earn Oscar nod status - somehow, she seemed more into her outfits and her efforts at sullenness than into bringing the appropriate depth to the role (she lost me with her multiple cries, "Where is my son??!!?? Where is my son??!!??"). But the story and direction - wow - they definitely merit Oscar consideration. The police find a lost boy who claims to be Angelina's missing kid; but upon meeting him, she knows it is not. The police (including doctors and other "experts") insist that it is her kid, and that she's shunning her motherly responsibilities. But the viewers are quickly convinced that Angelina is right, and she continues her search, while still taking care of (if not caring for) the boy. As some of the police (an excellent Michael Kelly) gets closer to the truth of her (and others') son's abductions, the story moves quickly into the horrific - a serial killer story too awful to imagine (and yes, this is a well-researched true story). Amy Ryan is incredible (as usual) as a mental patient. Jeffrey Donavan adequately moves from Burn Notice to the big screen as Angelina's primary police contact. John Malkovich is a little unsettling as a preacher after the dirty cops, but he does a good job - it's just bizarre seeing him in this role. Clint's direction is impeccable - he should get yet another nomination. I love this story, even as it is incredibly difficult and rewarding to watch.

MOVIE REVIEW - Night Falls on Manhattan (1996)

MAJOR SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW...

One of my favorite films about justice, police corruption, ethics, family bonds, with a terrific cast led by Andy Garcia as Sean Casey - a new attorney who finds himself on a career making case and then launched into the DA's chair. The excellent supporting cast sees James Gandolfini as a cop (in standard Gandolfini mode - showing just how bad his teeth are); Ron Liebman chewing scenery as the pre-Casey DA, Morgenstern/Morgy; Paul Guilfoyle (CSI) in a small role; Colm Feore (Changeling) as a too-tight Harvard ADA; little Commie shyster Richard Dreyfus playing "little Commie shyster" defense attorney Sam Vigoda; Lena Olin as Peggy Lindstrom, assistant to Vigoda and to-be lover of Casey (she's smart and a great actress and beautiful - but wow, that is one heckuva big vein in her left temple); Bobby Cannavale in a non-speaking role, sitting third chair for Dreyfus at the trial; and the powerhouse performance by Ian Holm as Andy Garcia's Pop, playing a cop and James Gandolfini's partner.

Slow jazz sets the tone for this somber drama. The film starts as a police bust gone bad; or, as Morgy says, "A fuckup of historical proportions." When the trial for the bust begins, Morgy recruits Casey to head the trial, partly to get the sympathy vote (his pop was shot during the bust), and partly to groom him. Says Morgy, "You know the street, kid." Casey: "I know the street." Garcia adds such depth to such simple dialogue - it really makes you pull for him.
I like the pace of this film. It seems like it's gonna be a cop drama; but the bad guy turns himself in early on. Then it seems like it's gonna be a courtroom drama; but the trial is over with an hour to go. Which is when the movie really starts to grab you as it emerges as a political story, a heartbreaking family drama, and an ethics class.

Ron Lieberman had an amazing scene, when Sean went to visit Morgy at the nursing home. At the end, Sean says humorously, "I'd kiss you, but you're an ugly bastard." Sean leaves, Morgy half-cries. Heartbreaking.

Andy should've received an Oscar nomination for this role. He "nailed it" during the trial, especially with the climax: "Did any of the blood get on your tiny white sneakers?" He shone during his campaign speech: "You need to know that law applies to everyone equally... There will be only one standard - did that person break the law? If I am elected, the law will exclude no one." Ah, I'm in heaven. I love the scene where Gandolfini's Joey asks Sean to get him on the rat list with a deal; Sean flinches (with disgust) when Joey tries to touch him, and says, to his face, "You might as well be selling dope yourself!" And to his pop, "Don't tell him he's a scum bag??!!?? That he's a disgrace??!!??" Excellent - Sean has ethics and balls. And Andy owns the half-cry - watching a grown man feel something so deeply, so painfully, that the tears flow, but he fights them back, too - at his pop's hospital bed; in his dealings with Peggy; and especially when he tells Pop that Joey's dead: "It's bad news, Pop"... All so heartbreaking - I cry every time.

On the warrant issue, I've never been a big fan of the current laws, and I'm completely fine with the judge's and Sean's actions, in the preservation of justice. I know Sean feels that it was the moment he stepped into grays; but from my book, he's still on the top of the honorable chain.

And Ian should've WON the supporting Oscar for this role. "I swear to you on your mother's grave, I'm clean." Such a strong scene. After Pop confesses the warrant issue to Sean, Sean reaches to touch him, and now it's his pop's turn to flinch - but this time out of guilt. And when he's sitting in the judge's chair, after Sean tells him about Joey? Heartbreaking again! How did Ian not get nominated?

MOVIE REVIEW - Fountain, The (2006)

Starring Hugh Jackman and the elegant Rachel Weisz in 3 separate roles in different times. Hugh, the scientist married to Rachel (in one of the stories), is looking for the cure to Rachel's cancer. In the past story, Rachel and Hugh are queen and knight, in search of the tree of knowledge of good and evil (for the purpose of eternal life). In the extremely bizarre and dull future story (as though the present and past stories weren't dull and bizarre - they are), Hugh is a Buddhist-like astronaut in touch with the new-age-y Rachel. This is dreary, weird, and dull.

MOVIE REVIEW - Silver Stallion, The (1993)

This is a children's movie from Australia, with a young Russell Crowe as the "evil man" who tames wild horses. Decent acting, decent scenery, lame heavy-handed animal-rights message.

MOVIE REVIEW - Pride And Glory (2008)

Police corruption drama starring Edward Norton, Colin Farrell, and Jon Voigt. Pretty good story, well-acted, fairly intense. The battle between brother-in-laws was well-done, with Edward fighting internally and externally on the side of ethics. It holds up pretty well until the last 15 minutes, which has 2 major flaws. One, a completely unnecessary and out-of-character fist fight; and the second would give away plot points, but suffice it to say that it should've ended better.

MOVIE REVIEW - Funny Games (2008)

Naomi Watts and Tim Roth star as a wealthy couple vacationing at their exclusive lake house with their kid, when two strangers supposedly visiting next door knock on the door to borrow eggs. Within minutes, Naomi senses something amiss and asks them to leave. They, uh, do not. They taunt; then they hit; and tie up; and torture; and philosophize along the way with the most inane speeches. This horror film tries to be artsy and intelligent; it fails. You want to like Naomi, but she shouldn't make this kind of depressing drivel.

MOVIE REVIEW - American Carol, An (2008)

There is exactly one good thing about this movie – we learn who the conservative actors in Hollywood are: Kelsey Grammer; Dennis Hopper; Chris McDonald; Zachary Levi; Trace Adkins; Robert Davi; Leslie Nielsen; James Woods; Kevin Sorbo; Jon Voigt (if you can recognize him as George Washington); and Gail O’Grady, who is apparently Hollywood's only female conservative actress. Or, maybe she is just the only conservative female actress who didn’t read this script before signing on to the worst movie of 2008. I had mild hopes for this movie that was conjured up by the small group of Republicans over a weekly breakfast. They wanted to display that Hollywood is not solely a far-left secular-progressive propaganda machine. But apparently, all the talented writers, directors, and actors are left-wing, because this is one horrible movie. I’ve seen middle school church plays that were better written, funnier, and more subtle. There is not a funny joke here. There are, on the other hand, thousands of beat-you-over-the-head supposedly humorous attacks without merit against the left. There are so many legitimate, serious, fact-based attacks that could and should be leveled against the left (rampant disregard for the 10th amendment; unconstitutional demands of “separation of church and state”; treasonous hopes for failure in war, in the name of globalization; socialist economic and immigration policies). And I have openly voiced a hope that right-leaning talents (e.g., Laura Ingram, Mary Matalin, Bill O’Reilly [who should NOT have contributed to this project]) would spear-head media projects (TV dramas and comedies, movies) with a decidedly constitutional perspective. But this movie not only isn’t funny, it damages the conservative viewpoint by making us all look like the buffoon Kevin Farley (Chris’ brother) playing the Michael Moore-ish character.

MOVIE REVIEW - Body of Lies (2008)

The story is a bit like Syrianna, except it’s about the war intelligence instead of oil, and it’s less confusing. Oh, and it’s good. I wish Russell Crowe wouldn’t have chosen Leo as his costar, because Leo ruins movies for me. And certainly, most anyone else in the lead role (e.g., Wahlberg, Gosling, heck – Labeouf) would’ve been better. But I enjoyed this CIA drama in spite of Leo. I don’t know if we are really as sophisticated in the war as this movie portrays us – direct satellite communication and surveillance between those on the ground and those back home, giving us major advantage. It’s a fascinating way to conduct a war, if so.

Russell plays a director in the states who manages Leo, an operative in the middle east. He is interestingly disinterested – he never really looks at anyone, but he’s always listening and planning. It’s fun watching Russell playing dad, walking about his day-to-day life at his kids school, on the playground, in the grocery store, while giving Leo directions over his Bluetooth that decide major actions in world politics. And boy, are some of those decisions major - the explosions are really intense. Global politics are not for the faint of heart.

There is an interesting relationship between Leo and the Andy Garcia-like head of Jordan intelligence (whose best line was, “If you’re not thinking about pussy, you’re just not concentrating”). They know they aren’t friends, but they at times choose to be partners – and at times not. While the movie’s climax tries to put a negative spin on American operations, most of the movie has an interesting (and I think honest?) perspective on the middle east (e.g., the Jordanian said, “We don’t have enough good Arabs to watch the bad Arabs”).

MOVIE REVIEW - Appaloosa (2008)

I like Westerns. I like the frontier justice, the scenery, the shape of the US Constitution in that age. But this story written by, directed by, and starring Ed Harris, seemed more like Harris’s excuse to make an old-style movie. He got the scenery right, showing Appaloosa as the typical tiny and rough frontier town, and the plot starts promising with a fascinating, violent shootout. But it quickly faltered with a weak story, misplaced subplots, and unnecessary character mannerisms.

The first flaw is seen when the tinny-voiced Jeremy Irons is cast as the uber-bad guy. He looks too much like a Blood-y Daniel Day Lewis, and he just isn’t sinister enough for this bad guy role. Then, we meet Viggo Mortensen, though he’s hardly recognizable wearing a mustache that is 4 times wider than his skinny beard. Then, we meet Renee Zellwegger’s Allison French, where her mugging is on full throttle, and even more out place than usual. Worse, her character is extraneous to most of the plot, and is a distraction from the real story. Harris wrote a plotline to beef up the female part for the feminist age for an era where such a role does not belong.

There is a bizarre, and ultimately lame, attempt at humor that pervades Ed and Viggo’s friendship. It doesn’t work. Ed constantly asks Viggo which word he’s looking for. This character quirk plays no role in the movie, and adds nothing to Ed’s character – it’s just another trait written into this flawed story that confuses me as to what they were trying for. There are enjoyable parts, but this Western just isn’t very satisfying.

MOVIE REVIEW - Enchanted (2007)

Disney fluff. I thought having the lovely Amy Adams as the princess would make me like this one more - she can really be endearing (Junebug). And while there were a few atypical Disney features (animation morphs into live action; the prince is a dufus), it wasn't inspired. Seems like it could've almost been a Disney TV flick.

MOVIE REVIEW - Heart and Souls (1993)

I really liked it and was surprised by that. I don't usually go for angel/afterlife-type movies, but this one really has a lot of heart and humor. And TWO Mumford cast mates! (Alfre/David Paymer).

Favorite scenes:
* Alfre's revelation that her son is the cop - she was just SO excited.
* The boardroom scene, when they embarrass Thomas by entering him, to force him to help.
* Most all the scenes with Thomas the kid - he was so cute, answering all the school questions.
* The sheer joy of the grown man who got his stamp collection back.

I thought Robert Downey, Jr. could sing better - I liked the scene with the Star Spangled Banner, but I thought his voice was kinda bland and slightly off-key. Maybe he did that on purpose? It was unrealistic to think that BB would enjoy and participate in such a moment, but this wasn't a movie going for realism, so that's forgivable. Overall, this was fun and heartwarming.

MOVIE REVIEW - In Bruges (2008)

Colin Farrell and Russell Crowe should be in a movie together - both know how to bring incredible depth and heartache, with such passion, to unlikable characters. Colin plays a new assassin whose first job went horribly wrong. The boss sends Colin and his elder partner in crime to the historic, gorgeous, slow town of Bruges, Belgium for a short escape from the wilder life of killing. A crusty but deep bond is clear between the partners, even while they mostly dislike each other's company. While this is a brooding, slow moving movie, a lot happens in Bruges. Even when killers vacation, their violent life can overflow - causing heartache, love, fear, courage, and even wrenching introspection. Ralph Fiennes has a smaller role as their boss, who ultimately joins in on the vacation and the brooding. This is a great film with a great cast and tone - highly recommended.

MOVIE REVIEW - Night at the Museum (2006)

Carla Gugino needed a bigger role in this Ben Stiller adventure comedy for kids. Dinosaurs come to life, Robin Williams' Teddy Roosevelt dispenses advice that he can't keep, and a lot of silly shenanigans go on after hours at the museum. Throw in a tip of the hat to old comedians who are much better than the new bunch. The lovely Gugino could've brought some levity and heart to this otherwise kid-fluff piece, if only she'd had any lines.

MOVIE REVIEW - Imitation of Life (1959)

So many messages - "We should be color blind." "Be who you are." "Follow your dreams." "There's nothing wrong with faking looking prosperous. It shows faith that you're ready for it whenever the Lord is." Ugh, I think this will be the last Douglas Sirk movie I need to watch. Lana Turner stars as a wannabe actress/socialite who takes in a maid out of generosity to the maid. The maid's daughter looks white and resents her black mother. Overblown acting, overly-simple messages, and just dreary in general. Also starring Sandra Dee, Troy Donahue, and Alan Alda's dad.

MOVIE REVIEW - August Rush (2007)

Well, isn't it all so magical and timely and sweet and full of destiny. Admittedly, this is a really nice movie. Admittedly, I teared up a little in those oh-so-touching scenes. An orphan "hears the music" given to him by his parents, who don't know he's alive. But the music guides them all back together. Oops, did I just ruin the ending? Nope, because it's painfully obvious where it's all headed, from the first scene and all the way through. Tons of sentiment, some of it honestly heartwarming. And the music really is terrific - it's like they reincarnated Michael Hedges into the body of Freddie Highmore (the male Dakota Fanning) [Ah, I see that Michael Hedges' songs are on the soundtrack - that explains it). Surprisingly good cast - Keri Russell has become a great actress; Terrence Howard is always strong; Robin Williams and Jonathan Rhys Meyers don't ruin the film (though they lessen it some). Freddie is the star - and a good one he is. But really, music is the star - and oh, so "magical" it is. But really, sap is the star - beat-me-over-the-head foreshadowing, ultra-sweet kids getting picked on but winning, and happy endings. Nice, but too much.

MOVIE REVIEW - Bucket List, The (2007)

This is supposed to be inspirational. And I guess it is - don't let this one life pass you by before really living it. But it's also a bit dreary. The title carries most of the inspiration here - the execution of the story is just fair. For one, it's a little too icky watching Morgan and Jack puke and lose their hair and build their bond while trying not to die. The story picks up when they go on their bucket quest - skydiving, sitting on the pyramids, chatting. But in general, it's too simple and depressing. I know it's trying to be the opposite of depressing, but it missed that mark for me.

MOVIE REVIEW - Tropic Thunder (2008)

This is supposedly a spoof on Hollywood. Or on war movies. Or on Russell Crowe. Or on Bush. I couldn't tell exactly what it was spoofing, because it was Just So Lame. I think it was really a spoof on Ben Stiller, even though he didn't realize it. Robert Downey, Jr. is getting rave comedic reviews for playing a white guy who is so into his roles that he colors his skin to play a black guy. How his one-note performance (seriously - the same voice, the same joke through the entire film, save the last 10 minutes) is supposed to funny, I don't know. It's not. Jack Black, always a little too demonstrative but still usually funny, isn't funny or believable as the druggie. There are a couple of funny moments (e.g., when the director finishes giving the jungle instructions, with a bang); but most of the moments that are supposed to be funny are just really stupid.

MOVIE REVIEW - Mr. Woodcock (2007)

As lame as it looked, plus it stars Billy Bob - ick. I only watched it because it was on late on HBO in the hotel.

MOVIE REVIEW - 21 (2008)

Enjoyable casino semi-thriller. Stars a young cast, plus Kevin Spacey as the teacher of the card counters. You do get caught up in the game, just like the team got caught up in the emotions, to their peril. There's nothing amazing here, but it's a good escapist movie.

MOVIE REVIEW - Kingdom, The (2007)

I think there was probably some conservative (and maybe even a little liberal) propaganda in this action-packed US-vs-terrorists thriller. But I was too into the intensity and fun (and maybe the lateness of my watching hour) to notice. I didn't expect this cast full of TV-to-movie actors (Jamie Fox, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Ashley Scott) to pull it off in a way that didn't seem B-movie. But they did. The plot starts with a bang - with as terrifying and tragic an attack off of US soil that you can fathom. And then the FBI team, with resistance from all sides, jumps right in to solve the case on Arab soil. The potential-beheading scene is crazy-scary-intense. It didn't get or deserve Oscars, even though it was much better than the prior year's Syriana and Babel, which did get nominations. But it was very enjoyable.

MOVIE REVIEW - Enemy Mine (1980)

Mark, I thought you had better taste than this. This sci-fi movie from the early eighties has apparently inspired several other stories. There are many elements of this movie in Cast Away; The Blue Lagoon; and one of my favorite Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes (Darmok) is a near-copy of the story line. But while the story has a lot of depth and heart, the technical elements of the movie hold up very poorly. The effects are god-awful. The acting is B-movie, at best (Dennis Quaid deserves a Razzie). And while it does draw you into the story, into the friendship between these two destined-to-be-enemies, it simultaneously drags along. It was good to have seen this, so that I know the history behind where modern filmmakers get some of their ideas. But on the whole, I couldn't recommend this one.

MOVIE REVIEW - X-Files: I Want To Believe (2008)

I don't understand why this movie got such a bad rap with the critics. I liked it. Was it Mulder and Scully's most interesting case? No, and neither was their first movie, which did and reviewed much better. But as I felt with every ST:TNG movie post-series, it was good to see my friends again. The reviews talked about how boring the case was, and how it dragged on. I disagree. I was interested the entire time - I thought the story was pretty good. In fact, the not-fully-explained-but-much-changed relationship between Fox and Dana was maybe my least favorite part. I liked each of them (as always), and I liked their chemistry. But the romantic direction they had apparently moved into over the past 10 years seemed, well, almost contrived. But still, strong actors in strong characters in a pretty good story makes for a good movie in my book.

MOVIE REVIEW - Batman: The Dark Knight (2008)

The first Batman is in my top 50. A couple of the others were decent, while some were awful. Christian Bale rejuvenated the franchise with Batman Begins; but with Dark Knight, they moved to a new level - high quality, high action, top-notch acting and directing. I doubt that it will top the first Batman on my favorites list - as much for nostalgia reasons as anything else. But this is a well-made movie. I stop shy of saying it is a great movie, mostly because of expectations. I had heard that, forget superheroes, this was an all-time great crime drama. Well, it's a really good superhero movie with a good criminal (Heath is almost as good as the hype - especially in that nurse's uniform dance - yikes!). But it's definitely just a Batman movie. Once again, Christian is an excellent choice for Batman/Bruce (though his mouth still looks wrong in that mask). The action sequences (and those insane shots of Hong Kong) were terrific. The story was good, and sharing villain-time between Heath/Joker and Aaron/Harvey/2Face was a good idea to keep the story alive for 2.5 hours.

MOVIE REVIEW - Mist, The (2007)

Stephen King scares, and this is no exception. Yikes, I was freakin scared as soon as the ominous mist began. What was killing those people in the mist? What begins in Hitchcockian fashion, where the suspense IS the terror, we soon learn what is in the mist, and turns out, it was even scarier than the suspense! And yes, a little cheesy, too, but it really hit my fear factor. Marcia Gay Hardin's religious lunatic was a bit much, but it did help move the story along (and provided the movie's best line - "That's why I said thanks"). And this movie can't be reviewed without at least mentioning that most unconceivable of endings. My word, I just have no words. I like movies that surprise me and take me out of the standard viewing experience - and this one certainly did.

MOVIE REVIEW - Hancock (2008)

The previews made this look sarcastic and fun. That was misleading, as this movie is not fun. It's not really even sarcastic. It's a plodding story with a blatantly obvious and boring twist that goes nowhere. Jason Bateman was mildly enjoyable as a regular guy who wants to help Will Smith's washed out superhero spruce up his image. Charlize Theron is usually a major draw for me, but not this time. Dud.

MOVIE REVIEW - Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

This movie is really lame - made for kids (if them, even), with terrible dialogue, obvious plots, and mediocre action. It does get a bump, though, because I saw it in 3D, and that made it pretty fun. There were about 10 scenes where I literally jumped out of my seat. But while the effects made the experience mildly fun, it was a chore to make it through.

MOVIE REVIEW - Coal Miner's Daughter (1980)

I'm a bit bored with musician biopics, and this story of Loretta Lynn didn't wow me - but it was a nicely told and nicely acted story. Sissy did a good job, but I'm not sure it was as Oscar worthy as I've always heard. Yes, she went from 14 to about 40. And maybe it was just that I didn't think Loretta came across as very deep - just a girl who could sing a little and got pretty lucky (career-wise, anyway). I liked it, but it had flaws.

MOVIE REVIEW - Hitcher, The (2007)

Almost a B-movie thriller. And while it's fairly lame, it's kinda fun, too.

MOVIE REVIEW - Brave One, The (2007)

While I'm a sucker for a vigilante movie, this one is more brooding than most. A decent story about a woman who dives into revenge toward all bad guys after she is nearly killed. In the extras, Jodie emphasizes how strongly she thinks her character is wrong; but that she liked the character study. Not a great way to market your movie, Jodie - I think I liked it more than she did.

MOVIE REVIEW - Wall*E (2008)

I'm not as sold on Pixar as the rest of America. Toy Story was mediocre, Monsters was cute, Nemo and Incredibles were good. But when the critics raved, "How can Pixar continue to top itself after every preceding masterpiece - and yet they have", that just doesn't mean a lot to me. And then came Wall*E, which I hope gets nominated for Best Picture. This was a terrific movie, more for adults than kids. The animation was so real at times that I literally forgot that I was watching animation (and no, I'm not talking about the Fred Willard scenes).

Wall*E is a robot left behind to pick up the mountains of garbage on earth, and he's still faithfully doing his job 700 years after humans destroyed the planet and ran off in a spaceship. Within the first couple of minutes, we are drawn to the incredibly endearing qualities of this robot - he saves "treasures" that he finds in the trash, like the diamond ring case (he threw out the diamond ring); he has a delightful friendship with a cockroach; he watches old movies and falls in love with watching Audrey Hepburn fall in love. Then, a probe is sent from the human spaceship, checking to see if earth was once again habitable and not expecting to find anything. The probe's name is Eve, and she’s a fierce, modern, enchanting robot with beautiful blue “eyes”. And while some may classify this film as an animated robot love story, it is much more. It's also a stunning sci-fi tale; an environmental message movie (that surprisingly didn't tick me off, because its message was accurate and didn't stray into non-solutions); a commentary on humanity's technological move away from intimacy; and just a deeply warm, fun, beautiful movie.